Meditation - What for?

Meditation saved my life. I was drawn to it at the age of 14. There is a long story involved but for now, let's just say I would not be here without it. 

It has always been my lifeline, what I can go back to, when I don't know what's what, up from down.. etc.. With some difficult changes as of late, I started feeling a bit lost and off my center. More reactive. Although I suppose that is a version of myself, it is not how I want to be, not my best self. 

Some of these interpersonal challenges have challenged me to my core. I am in a group with two other female business owners and we were lamenting a bit about it, and I remembered meditation. Even when I was a single mom barely paying my rent, I taught classes in  my little living room in boulder. 

Meditation, it came up, teaching. That means I need a practice. I don't know where the resistance comes sometimes to do thing things that bring you exactly back to you. 

When you have looked and searched enough outside of you, I believe it is time to turn within. There is guidance there. It may be subtle, and gentle and one small task a day, but it is there. 

I do not like to have a short fuse, over react or just be swayed by other peoples actions and emotions. I like calm. I like to make choices from my pre frontal cortex if at all possible, at least in daily life. Triggers can feel so dangerous they activate our survival mechanisms, when in fact they are not a real threat at all. 

For me, Meditation, helps me access that place that allows some space before I react. 
I have taught meditation off and on since I was 19, it helped me out a very dark time in my life, it helped me to heal. I am certified in Neurosculpting and also trained in an intuitive meditation style. These are the two systems I go to when I need to start from the beginning, from the ground up, along with some yoga. Meditation is a part of the yoga system, I practice a more western style. 

When there are no more answers outside of us, and the world is so full of chaos and things we can't really process or comprehend it is time to look within and expand our own bandwidth to hold a space for that that doesn't seem to be out there, division, suffering, confusion. Take the spiral out to the spiral in. Sometimes that is the only place left to go, and there you can find what you were looking for sometimes it is simply a feeling of hope, or maybe a little more like yourself or how you want to be.